Catcalling

Hi,

I am not somebody who often feels disrespected or taken advantage of as a girl. To be honest, I am quite happy with the relationship that women nowadays share with the opposite sex. Like all other females, I believe that men and women are equal, but I also don't think that there is anything wrong with males being more dominant and forthcoming.

It is traditional that a man should be the one to take most of the important steps in a relationship such as asking a woman out on a first date or proposing. But I think there needs to be a line between advancing in a relationship and catcalling a girl because of how she looks, or even just because she is a girl.

I have never really seen what the fuss is about with catcalling, but then, as a teenage girl, I wouldn't have any idea to begin with; I have never been approached by a man; I have never felt violated by the opposite sex; I have never been catcalled...until today.

As I walked past a cafe, I looked inside it through a window to see how busy it was. Every table was full of people my age and evidently there was a school function going on. As I strolled by, people at the tables began to stand up. There were about 5 boys, holding their hands up to their ears, mimicking a phone and mouthing 'call me'. At first, I was flattered, happy even, because these boys had noticed me, and maybe they even thought I was attractive. As somebody who does not consider themselves good looking or appealing to the opposite sex, this excited me and gave me confidence. But as soon as I rounded the corner, doubt filled my head. What if it was a dare? What if they had been teasing me? What if they had done it because they thought I was ugly? Suddenly, I didn't feel good about the situation, I felt unsettled and violated. What made these boys think that they could act like this to me, a complete stranger?

I know that this situation is mild compared to what some women experience, and I am aware that I am probably overthinking this and that the boys were probably just joking around with each other, but it is the fact that they probably were joking that bothers me. Instead of treating me with respect, as though I was somebody that they were genuinely interested in, or ignoring me if I was not, they chose to briefly communicate with me in a way that I found disrespectful.

To boys, catcalling probably seems completely harmless and even funny, but they need to know that girls don't feel the same way. Catcalling is something that leaves a girl with many questions about the situation and it is so often taken the wrong way. I think catcalling needs to stop, and by spreading awareness to men about the way women feel, all females can feel respected and safe.

If you have any feedback, questions, similar experiences or if you simply want to share your opinion, I would love to hear from you in the comments below.

Thats all from me,

Dancer Free xx

When Skinny Is Not Skinny Enough

Hi,

Something that I've been thinking alot about recently is body image and how the media is affecting our self esteem.

I am 155 cm (5 foot) and I weigh 33 kg (73 pounds). You don't need to be an expert on BMI to know that I'm extremely underweight. I have a lot of health problems because of how little body fat I have and I know that I need to gain weight, but when I look in the mirror, I don't see myself as thin.

As a dancer, I have very toned legs and abdominals, but the muscle tone that I was once so proud of, I now find myself wishing did not exist. Of legs that do not change width the whole way down, where I used to see thin thighs, I now see big calves. Of a stomach with a raised abdominal structure, where I used to see abs, I now see a layer of fat.

2 years ago, if you had asked me if I thought the media had an impact on my self esteem and body image, I would have shortly and confidently said no. But now, who else do I have to blame for my sudden drop in self esteem? The people around me are no skinnier than I am, but the celebrities I see in magazines... well thats a different story. Their thighs and calves seem as skinny as my wrist, their stomachs seem as flat as a board, and they look beautiful. I know that these celebrities  put enormous pressure on their bodies in order to achieve a stick figure, some sticking to a diet consisting only of liquids, but a small part of me wants to be as thin as these people.

I want to stress that I would never act on the whim to become super thin. Being as thin as some models and celebrities is not healthy and is not what we should see as the perfect body type. Humans are programmed to strive for perfection, but the media has changed our view of what perfection really is.

No matter what your gender, age or size is, we can all have self esteem issues. I am the last person that you would expect to want to be thinner, but even if I am skinny, in the eyes of the media, I will never be skinny enough. This is something that we can change.

You are beautiful just the way you are and no magazine article can change that.

If you have any feedback, suggestions, tips or questions, I would love to read them in the comments below.

Thats all from me

Dancer Free xx

Dancer Free

Hi,

Firstly, I want to explain my online name: Dancer Free

I know what you're thinking, and I agree, it is a very strange name to sign a blog post off with, but hear me out.

I came up with the name Dancer Free after reading the book Girl Online by Zoe Sugg (a.k.a Zoella)

In Girl Online, the main character Penny, suffers from anxiety and panic attacks, just like I do. In order to work through her anxiety, she creates an alter ego. Whenever she feels anxious, Penny simply takes on the persona of her alter ego, Ocean Strong, who is confident and courageous. 

Dancer Free is my alter ego. To people who don't suffer with anxiety and panic attacks, the idea of this may seem strange and maybe even a little silly, but in the past few weeks, in any situation in which I felt uncomfortable or anxious, all I had to do was act like Dancer Free. I have not had a panic attack since I read Girl Online, because every time I feel the panic rising up inside me, I am able to shake it off.

I chose to call my alter ego Dancer Free because, as somebody with very severe anxiety, the one thing that I want is to be free;  to go wherever I want without having to worry about having a panic attack; to get on an aeroplane without having to worry about having a heart attack or the plane crashing; to do what I want to do, without a care in the world. Dance is something that allows me to feel free. When I dance, I forget about my agoraphobia,my asthenophobia and my acrophobia. Dancing is my way of escaping from the anxiety that follows me like a shadow. 

This is the first blog post that I have ever written, so you're going to have to bear with me as I try to develop a sense of what I want this blog to focus on. 

I still don't really know a whole lot about where I want to go with this blog, and its definitely going to take me a few weeks to get the hang of it, but I hope I will eventually be able to provide entertainment and advice to anybody who chooses to read my blog.

I hope this blog post hasn't been too rambly or long, but I've done my best.

If you have any feedback, tips for coping with anxiety, similar experiences or questions, I would love if you shared them in the comments below.

Thats all from me,

Dancer Free xx