Lately, I've been thinking a lot about sexuality and sexual orientation, and what it means to be heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, asexual or demisexual. Sexual orientation being what gender(s) you are attracted to and sexuality being how much attraction you have towards that gender(s).
All of the terms listed above are in fact labels. They take somebodies sexual orientation and sexuality and they put it in a category. This seems like a great way to make sure everybody can identify their sexual orientation and sexuality, but what happens when you don't fit into a category? What if you identify as heterosexual, but you at times feel attraction to the same sex. Does this make you bisexual? No. When people have these feelings, they become very confused.
What most people don't understand is that sexual orientation is not all black and white, there is not only gay, straight and bi, but many degrees in between. If you asked me to label myself in regards to my sexual orientation, I would label myself a heterosexual person. But there is so much that this doesn't tell you about my sexual orientation. The only thing that the word heterosexual tells you about a person is that they are attracted to the opposite sex. Being heterosexual doesn't mean that you don't have any attraction to the same sex. Some people like to identify their sexual orientation using the Kinsey Scale.
The Kinsey Scale is a number line, with 0 being exclusively heterosexual, and 6 being exclusively homosexual. The reason that the Kinsey scale is sometimes difficult to identify with, is that its measurements go by sexual behaviours, not sexual feelings. However, something that the Kinsey scale does bring to the table is the idea of being ambisexual, that is, having feelings and/or relationships with people of both sexes, regardless of the ratio of the genders of those involved.
Sexuality is often thought of as a triangle with a gradient, with black being asexual, grey being demisexual and white being a spectrum of sexual orientation.
A heterosexual person is defined as a person attracted to the opposite sex.
A homosexual person is defined as a person attracted to the same sex.
A bisexual person is defined as a person attracted the both the same sex and the opposite sex.
An asexual person is defined as a person with no sexual feelings for other people.
A demisexual person is defined as a person who does not experience sexual feelings for another person until they have formed a strong emotional bond.
The above definitions may seem like they account for everybody's sexual orientation, but they don't, because they are labels.
Sexuality and sexual orientation should be seen on a spectrum, and its time that we take a stand against the labels that limit sexual orientation and sexuality.
I hope that this blog post has given a different perspective and that it has been helped people to understand their sexuality and sexual orientation.
If you have any feedback, tips, suggestions or questions, please leave them in the comments.
That's all from me,
Dancer Free xx
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